List of Films Reviewed

The Adventures of Captain Marvel
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: It’s a trip back to the golden age of comics when we join Captain Marvel, who pits his legendary powers against the nefarious Scorpion for control of an ancient super-weapon. Shazam!

Amazing Screw-On Head
Synopsis: In an alternate view of US history, the Amazing Screw-On Head (under the command of Abraham Lincoln) fights the wicked Emperor Zombie and other occult forces who'd see the world (and by the world, we mean America) brought low.

Barbarella: Queen of the Universe
Synopsis: Barbarella is sent by the President of Earth to find the missing scientist Durand Durand who may have invented a weapon. Across the course of the movie, her main actions appear to be 1) changing outfits and 2) getting into trouble and requiring a man to rescue her.

Batman
Synopsis: Crime-ravaged Gotham comes under the protection of the mysterious Batman, who manages in his first few appearances to tranform a mob hitman into the psychotic Joker - someone who literally kills for his art. Also, photographer Vicki Vale seeks to discover the identity of the Batman while romancing Bruce Wayne, only to be (quite pointedly) shown that the two figures are the same man.

Bibleman: Big, Big Book
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: It’s a crummy superhero double feature with two Bibleman adventures so bad even the people who make them know it! In the first, Bibleman appears in some kids’ garage musical to tell the neighborhood all the wonders you can learn about in the "Big, Big Book". In our main event, he tries to head "Back to School" to teach more of our impressionable youth about his faith, but the sinister Madame Glitz has other plans!

Bibleman: Six Lies of the Fibber
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: Willie Aames rides again as Oregon’s protector of Christianity. Yes, really. In this daring adventure, he faces the laughable terrifying menace of the Fibbler, a villain who threatens to break up a five-member youth group in the name of Satan!

Bibleman: Defeating the Shadow of Doubt
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: Bibleman faces his greatest challenge yet as he walks right into a trap set by the sinister Shadow of Doubt and sort of begins to doubt the convictions that make him the Avenger of Evangelism. With moral support from new sidekicks Coats and UNICE, Bibleman rallies back, smiting the Shadow and saving a girl whose doubts didn’t even come from the villain.

Bibleman: The Incredible Force of Joy
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: Shadow of Doubt returns as an even goofier menace to steal the joy of the entire city… with help from Bibleman’s own mainframe!

Bibleman: The Fiendish Works of Dr. Fear
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: Bibleman becomes a leader of a school’s anti-drug campaign because gosh darn it, he’s just a great guy like that. But evil is afoot once again, and the cold tendrils of FEAR!! threaten to put a premature end to his heroic example.

Bibleman: Shattering the Prince of Pride
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: It’s almost time for the debut of the Bibleman newspaper comic, which will carry the Word of God from coast to coast! The Prince of Pride has other plans, however, and his pride-enhancing laser gun threatens Bibleman and the comic’s illustrator with a case of egomania that could tear the whole thing apart and somehow destroy Bibleman forever in the process!

Bibleman: Breaking the Bonds of Disobedience
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: As if a national newspaper strip wasn’t enough, Bibleman is delivering the Word of God through community theater too! However, his archenemy has plans to bring down the curtain with a germ that will tear him apart from God! Can a struggling actress find her true calling in time to save the show and Bibleman from ruin?

Bibleman: Jesus Our Saviour
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: Bibleman faces his greatest challenge yet, and so do I as I review the director’s cut of "Jesus Our Savior". Against his most evil foe, Bibleman faces the possibility of shutting down his operation forever… but only because he totally forgets about the concept of “teamwork”.

Bibleman: Conquering the Wrath of Rage
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: Bibleman faces a new challenge in his quest for truth, justice, and the Evangelist way when El Furioso threatens to engulf the city in an epidemic of people yelling at each other. Will his new plucky sidekick be a help… or a hindrance?

Bibleman: A Fight For Faith
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: Wacky Protestor, the lamest supervillain of all time, hatches his most diabolical scheme yet. Only the faithful power of Bibleman can stop him, but Miles Peterson has hung up his cape! Fortunately, some new blood has been found to take up the mantle, and the new Bibleman battles Wacky Protestor in easily the most boring Fight for Faith yet.

Bibleman: Terminating the Toxic Tonic of Disrespect
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: It’s the birth of a new era of Bibleman! In the first entry in the brand-new “Powersource” series, Professor Emeritus Snortinskoff creates a sports drink that fills people’s hearts with anger and disrespect, forcing the Bibleteam to…help one person out of all the victims.

Blade 2
Synopsis: Blade kills a lot of vampires while working for some other vampires before fighting a super-vampire. But he does it with style.

Bruiser
Synopsis: A man who has let everyone walk all over him wakes up one morning to find his face replaced by a white expressionless mask. Freed of his former identity, this man does what we would all do in his situation - seek vigilante justice against those who have wronged him!

Bulletproof Monk
Synopsis: Wire-Fu powered Monk fights Nazi organisation while teaching a wise-cracking yet good-hearted pick pocket wisdom... and how to defy gravity.

The Crow
Synopsis: After being killed (along with his girlfriend) on the night of their wedding, Eric Draven gets to come back to life with the help of a crow, gets a new wardrobe, paints himself up a like the mime from hell and sets off to kill those responsible for his girlfriend's death. Lots of people die in dingy locations a a result, but they all deserve it. Honest.

Crying Freeman
Synopsis: A potter-turned-legendary-hitman who sheds tears after each killing (wuss!) falls in love with a woman and uses this love to defy his masters and kill everyone who stands in his way. Forgive me if I've made this sound interesting, because it really isn't.

Daredevil
Synopsis: We see Matt Murdock living the tough life as a boy in Hell's Kitchen before being blinded in an accident that also gives him super-senses and then experience the death of his father that turns him into a lawyer by day and the vigilante Daredevil by night but then Matt falls for a girl called Elektra who's father is associated with the Kingpin who calls in a top assassin named Bullseye who has a run-in with Daredevil and Elektra respectively and if you think that is a lot going on in a 103 minute film you'd be right.

From Hell
Synopsis: Inspector Fred Abberline and prostitute Mary Kelly investigate the motivation of Jack the Ripper (while falling in love) in the London of 1888. Mary has a bit of a vested interest in this investigation - it is her friends that are being killed, and she might just be next...

The Guyver
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: An unlikely hero bonds with a suit of futuristic armor, pitting him against the forces of evil mutants and directorial indecisiveness.

Guyver 2: Dark Hero
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: In this extremely unlikely sequel Chronos is gone, leaving our hero Guyver with a lot of unanswered questions. Dreams prompt him to hitchhike to an archeological dig in Utah, only to learn (of course) that he isn’t the only one with a deeper interest in ancient history

Heavy Metal
Synopsis: An EEE-vil green orb comes to Earth and traps a young girl in her house in order to tell her a series of loosely connected stories about itself.

The Incredible Hulk
Synopsis: Bruce Banner searches for a cure for his skin condition (it ain't easy being green) only to find that seeking the cure takes him directly back into the lives of the woman he left to keep safe and the military who wants him for experimentation. Lots of things get broken, but your brain won't be one of them.

Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: The fiendish Ivan Ooze is freed from confinement and wrecks the rangers’ Mighty Morphin Power, forcing them to travel to a distant planet in search of new toys to sell a new power source before Ivan’s evil Ectomorphicons can destroy the world!

Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD
Synopsis: Nick Fury is called back in from the cold after super-terrorist organisation Hydra sets out perform a terrorist attack on Manhattan. Besides being made politically incorrect since 9/11 (no modern film would have terrorists try to attack Manhattan), this movie is a pretty good example of the standard of films based on Marvel comic characters prior to "Blade": cheap, stupid and all-round mediocre.

The Phantom
Synopsis: An EEE-vil businessman seeks to find some magical skulls that will give him Ultimate Power^TM. Fortunately for us, the Phantom is there to stop his wicked scheme... although more by accident than design.

The Punisher (2004)
Synopsis: Former good special forces soldier and current good FBI agent Frank Castle who is about to retire (uh oh) and has a bright future (look out!) has his entire family (father, mother, wife, kid, third cousins, great-grandfather - the lot) killed by the Tampa mafia. After recovering from his near death, he sets about punishing those who were responsible. Unfortunately, he takes a while to do it and the audience is punished by the screen time given to three people who live in Frank's apartment building.

Spiderman: The Ultimate Villain Showdown
Synopsis: This title is very misleading - there's not really anything "ultimate" about it, there are a few villains (but not that many) and there really isn't a showdown. In these animated episodes, Spiderman thinks about quitting, loses his memory, helps Doctor Octopus, is believed in by a little girl, takes on the Green Goblin and a giant wheel, roughly in that order.

Spiderman Versus Daredevil
Synopsis: Actually, this is less "Spiderman Versus Daredevil" than "Spiderman, With Daredevil Showing Up For A While", but that would be a hard title to sell...

Surge of Power: The Stuff of Heroes
Review by Heckler King
Synopsis: A comic book fan gets to experience a life of heroics himself, but can his powers contend with ambiguous fans, lame weaknesses and an onslaught of celebrity cameos?

Swamp Thing
Synopsis: Alec Holland is turned into the Swamp Thing through the actions of some incompetant paramilitary henchmen working for Dr Anton Arcane, an alleged genius who is after Holland's Magic Formula. Oh, and the female lead, Alice Cable, is sexually harassed many, many times.

Tank Girl
Synopsis: In a post-apocalyptic future, Tank Girl (our anti-authority hero) and Jet Girl (her sidekick) go up against the EEEvil Water and Power Corporation, several animated / animatic sequences and relationships with kangaroo-man super soldiers. A movie that ends up on the dull side of quirky.

X-Men 1.5
Synopsis: A team of models mutants - humans born with superpowers - called the X-Men fight to stop another mutant, Magneto, and his team from succeeding in scheme so badly thought out only a master villain could have come up with it. After years of trying, Marvel Comics finally gets a movie that it doesn't have to be embarrassed out.